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What is a traditional funeral?
Although there are many definitions, the traditional funeral usually consists of a viewing (wake), followed by a funeral ritual and ground burial. Typically, a viewing requires that the deceased be embalmed. Although a traditional funeral is the most popular means of memorialization in America, there are many variations on this theme.
What if the deceased expressed wishes that are different from what are ‘traditional’?
It is important to try to accommodate ‘non-traditional’ funeral requests. A funeral director can work with you to accomodate your wishes and can counsel you as to matters of legality, local customs, and the requirements of the local churches, cemeteries, and clergy. An ideal situation would be to meet with a funeral director to make ‘pre-arrangements’ that are both reasonably priced and satisfactory to all.
Some people express the desire that “nobody make a fuss over me when I’m gone.” Unfortunately, such wishes may dismiss the importance that survivors might place on memorializing their loved-one. While a family may struggle to comply with the wishes of the deceased, they may also want to avoid cutting themselves off from the important benefits of the traditional funeral service. If possible, families should discuss their wishes before arrangements are finalized.
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I’m not sure I want a religious service. Is it still possible to have a funeral?
Some people request what is called a ‘humanistic’ type of funeral, where the deceased is remembered in any of a variety of ways. Some such memorializations are in the form of gatherings of friends and family for a time of remembrance and sharing. Others include rites conducted by fraternal, military, or other organizations. Nearly any personal preference can be accommodated.
.Can we ‘customize’ the services for our loved one?
Absolutely. Most families do this to some extent by choosing the type of service, minister, donations to favorite charities, and place of the service. It is certainly acceptable to go beyond, if desired. For example, calling hours can be held in the church or other facility. Committal services could include ‘personal touches’ that the family may feel appropriate. Almost anything is possible, and a funeral director should be willing to work with you to make this important ritual fit the needs of your family and friends, and reflect your wishes.
